Jessica Alba [Crazy Uncle George's A to Z of Hotties]

Jessica Alba

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Occupation: Actress (film, TV)
Fame Level: Huge name, due to severe popularity with guys
Clothing Level: Never nude (the Playboy thing's a sham) but perpetually scantily clad for movies and magazines, also probably the most commonly photographed person in a bikini by the paparazzi

Major Filmography

	"Dark Angel", Character: Max Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? No Comments: Jessica was the star of this FOX series. You could consider it her big break. This is another one of those shows about a future where everything sucks. Jessica plays a genetically enhanced military experiment who escapes and fights against the evil government. She was nominated for a Best Actress (TV) Golden Globe for this.
	Honey, Character: Honey Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? No Comments: Jessica is the star of this movie, about a woman trying to make it as a hip hop choreographer even though a former boss who's big in the industry is trying to stop her because she wouldn't have sex with him.
	Into the Blue, Character: Sam Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Big No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes, Clothing Level: Occasional bikini Comments: Oh, man, I so did not care enough about diving to put up with the criminal underuse of Jessica in this one. It's just a bunch of Paul Walker doing his tough, angry action guy thing to a bunch of drug dealers. And he does a good tough, angry action guy but how many movies is he going to do it in? Anyway, going through the stills of this is so funny as I didn't notice anything odd watching the movie, but the pictures (I only put up a few) make it look like Paul Walker's feeling up Jessica's ass for like an hour on the way to putting his arm around her midsection. And it's like, "Jesus, Paul, I know she's playing your girlfriend and that's the nicest ass you'll ever see, but show some tact... if nothing else, to keep any hope alive of getting in the actual Jes's pants in the future." Jessica was nominated for a Razzie for this, which means someone on that board is a fat, jealous woman.
	Fantastic 4, Character: Invisible Girl Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Maybe, Looks Hot for Her? Definitely her best, Clothing Level: Extremely short underwear scene Comments: This is about the comic, of course. She's the Invisible Girl (Sue), a scientist who acquires powers of invisibility and this force-field thing. Naturally, the four have roughly equal parts, but Jessica's the only star in the cast. Jessica's role is a lot more about the romantic subplot than as a superhero. This has a sequel with her coming out soon. This was another Razzie-nominated performance, which is just ridiculous as she's really good in it, and she even got two MTV Movie Award nominations for it. Someone at the Razzies seems to just like blindly trashing action movie performances, so hate mail to them would be appreciated.
	Sin City, Character: Nancy Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes, Clothing Level: Cowgirl lingerie outfit Comments: This movie is a bleak, serious one about a bunch of characters. Jessica is a stripper, a rather major part, and she won an MTV Movie Award for Sexiest Performance. This also has a sequel with Jessica coming out soon.

Other Filmography Worth Mentioning

Idle Hands, Character: Molly
Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Yes, Looks Hot for Her? Slight No, Clothing Level: Long part with her in underwear
Comments: She plays the female lead in this. One of the main character's hands is possessed and evil, and he tries picking up Jessica despite it. I fell for Jessica the second she first came out. Her first appearance is tattooed in my memory. She hadn't grown out her hair yet, unfortunately, but later she does get her dress ripped off by the evil hand, and it turns her on! One of the best guy moments ever...

"Flipper", Character: Maya
Seen It? No, Clothing Level: Possibly tons of bikini -- I used to see a lot of shots from before she made it big (nobody has them anymore) and I think they were around this time

Other Comments I think Jessica can probably be isolated as the cause of at least 70% of bisexuality among American females. I have never seen women even remotely as universally obsessed with the hotness of another woman as with her. I can't think of anyone whose sex appeal has ever had such universal selling power with men, either, although J-Lo used to be pretty big (and I'm not talking about the size of her booty).

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