Crazy Uncle George's Blog
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Sunday, December 5, 2006
Civil War, Schmivil War
So those crazy Duke boys are at it again. We have a contest going, as I got them a '69 Impala that we named the General Abizaid. The contest, of course, is who can be more reckless, those Duke boys in their car or me in Iraq. And people say civil war this and civil war that, but the fact remains that I'm doing damned well in the contest.
I also tried to score with Daisy, but got tied up first with these three holes in the barn wall. Now let me tell you, while those first two are mighty good, you want to stay away from that third one. I don't know what was there, but holy shit, that was not fun. I'll get with that Daisy, though, just as soon as she's done washing her hair. I swear, it seems like she has to go wash it every time I call. The girl must have lice or something. I remember when I had to use that special shampoo. When they say not to go swimming in the giant mud lake, by golly they mean it. Last time I saw her, she said she might if I were the last man in the country, and the way I'm going, I think I can get everyone else to leave in a year or two. I thought chicks were supposed to go crazy for this presidential thing, but I suppose Slick Willy's Willy wasn't getting such high quality. But this is ridiculous. I might have to nail Laura if this gets any worse.
In the meantime, let's get to where the real action is... the hotties page! I just updated the lovely Kate Beckinsale, arguably my supreme hottie (I have perpetual trouble choosing between her and Stefani Morgan), but before that I'd gotten to Lisa Dergan, Eliza Dushku, Brittany Snow, and Sofia Vergara. I'd say that those four were all pretty small updates except for the Sofia Vergara one which was a major quality boost. Anyway, I'd better go jump through another open Iraqi window... at least I hope it's open this time...