Crazy Uncle George's Blog
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Orion's Harm
So yesterday was the last day my boss was in town, so today I started having some free time again. He was asking about staying at the ranch again, and I was like, "Oh no, not after last time with that hunting accident nonsense..." When was that again? Oh right, last week... I swear, this hunting thing has gotten out of control.
At first it was just the atheists and agnostics. Then he added the teenagers. Then he added all the Communists and Anarchists. Then it was all the religious and racial minorities, and then everyone under thirty, and I was like, "Dick, I can't cover all these people up! You've got to stop shooting everyone!" Before I knew it, he's even turning on his friends, and that was the worst one of all. He said lawyers had been added to the list. When he was going to come this time, I was like, "Who's on the list these days?" He said the latest addition was the tired, the poor, and the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. I'm like, "Hello? Dick? I'm the president here. Roughly 99% of the country is tired, poor, and deprived of freedom in my regime!" I think we're out of the woods this time, though, because he's gone and I know we've only got two or at most three casualties.
But this means I didn't have time before, but I do now so I added a gallery for singer Katharine McPhee. Lordy, lordy, she is a smokin' hottie. I made up some dumb excuse to bring in all eleven of the finalists from that season into the White House back in July just so I could meet her and try to tap that sweet ass. Apparently she wants someone "of decent intelligence," though... whatever that means. Naturally, the American people didn't ask too many questions about why I'm spending all the presidential time hosting reality show contestants since Congress is always passing resolutions to congratulate the Idol winners. Those guys all got re-elected, right? I hope so because otherwise this bookie I know gets my Winnebago. I'm actually going to kick off a whole slew of new galleries for musicians, although overwhelmingly R&B as opposed to like Kat. I also should note that before Dick's visit, I'd updated the Carmen Electra, Marion Jones, Hilary Swank, Diane Lane, and Britney Spears sections. The middle three of those are pretty small updates, but I think I remember the Carmen Electra one multiplying the gallery to several times its original size.