Crazy Uncle George's Blog
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Saturday, December 23, 2006
Favors for the Don
So lately it seems like my friend Nicole got arrested. I'd met her when I was working on my new reality show, "The Complicated Life." It's about two guys from a farm who get stuck in the expensive city life of Washington politics.
So it seems like Nicole was all drivin' up and down the expressway in the wrong direction, hopped up on painkillers and stoned out of her mind, so I sat her down and was like, "Nicole, lemme tell you something I have learned from experience. When they say the 'highway' that's not what they mean. That and apparently the 'freeway' can't be yanked off the ground by just anyone. There are all these rules apparently that nobody tells you..." In the meantime, I was talking to a mother and another mother and they said there's no need to escalate in Iraq. But I replied to them that only love can conquer hate, the love of a swiftly applied bayonet, perhaps a tough love of sorts but the type of love that you apply to those non-Christians. In fact, I was applying some love to some Neo-Pagans just the other day... almost broke a nail, too.
In the meantime, good ol' Don, or Rummy as I call him, was leaving the Cabinet due to some dissatisfaction in an incident with this military thing we've been doing for a few years now. What's that place again? Man, I can only remember four countries without the teleprompter, but I thought this was one of them. But we got into some disputes with him leaving because he was trying to bring things back, so he was trying to bring back this three-hole punch, pens, a stapler, and some other stuff, and I'm like, "Don, man, that's an office stapler. It was bought by the taxpayers. It's obviously supposed to go into my slush fund, not yours." And he's all claiming that he brought all the stuff from home, and Dick's not entirely sure but thinks he might have seen the three-hole punch at Rummy's before. And I'm like, "Well, maybe the three-hole punch, but I know you did not bring those Pershing missiles from home..." We agreed to disagree, though, and just had him leave with only 7 of the 16 Pershing missiles he'd originally put out there.
In the meantime, though, it looks like we've got a new site joining our group of websites, but they didn't give me all the details yet and I don't think it's up yet. It's some video game site or something. I'll put up a little bit when it comes in, but really feel like letting you go for yourself if you're interested as I don't want to waste everyone else's time.