Crazy Uncle George's Blog
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Thursday, August 16, 2007
The Architect Departs
So Karl's gone and quit, effective at the end of the month. Okay, so the ceremony's over and everything, so there's no need to go all sappy and try to remember him as something he's not. Boy genius? That's not likely, especially for a guy who's in his 50s. If the supposed electoral master were so masterful with tactic, then we wouldn't be in a place now where the Republican Party couldn't get someone elected as manager of a Wendy's. I have the lowest approval rating of any president in history. Let's not have Karl go claiming that he's some wonder strategist when he's left our public image at this. Will I survive without Karl? I'd have a harder time surviving with him. Hell, I had to demote him already, and quite frankly, I'll take my chances with Josh Bolten. Plus, he has Skittles... yeah, red ones, too. Eat it, Karl! Eat some Skittles! That's right. You'll eat your Skittles, Karl.
One thing I'll have trouble surviving is having to deal with Hillary at church. This is just getting annoying. I had to run into her again this past week, and tried to force some small talk about that couch she took from my curb. When she had her back turned, I tried smacking her with a big iron bar so I wouldn't have to endure her, but she didn't even feel it. I'd be certain she's had her entire body replaced with wood if it weren't so saggy in some places.
Eventually, though, we're going to get to that place where one of us is going to have to convert to a different sect or leave Washington. And I don't think I'll have much luck selling the second one to her seeing as how my term ends first and I'm term-limited.
But apart from having a decoy I can throw at her while running, I'm not really seeing what I'm missing here. Besides, you know, when you're at rock bottom, changes can't take you anywhere but up. Well, unless the change is that the rock bottom beneath you slips away. But I digress... Also, I haven't gone into the updates yet. The Marcia Cross gallery is about four times as big as before, if I recall, plus there were some smaller ones for Claudette Ortiz, Vitamin C, Andrea Parker, Alicia Witt, Eliza Dushku, and Leah Remini, who now has her own page. I know that I was just talking about change, and yet I spent time updating all these galleries without adding any new girls, but the page isn't at rock bottom. Plus, my surprise new addition is taking forever. I'm afraid that this might be 500+ pictures for one girl when I'm done, and I really don't like the idea of making one that big. You know how Republican men are intimidated by large size. I'm starting to think lately that I'll probably add one or several new ones before her, probably starting with Hilary Duff.
So, the "architect" issue? What issue? This is all off the record, keeping in mind that this blog isn't exactly the evening news, but I just called him that sort of thing so I could pad his ego and pay him less. A person could hardly refer to this great new coalition that he supposedly built when we lost the popular vote in 2000 and barely squeaked it out in 2004 in the only office with a national election.
The Republican proportion of the expected vote was noticeably higher than those results. Did Karl have an especially big challenge, though, with a particularly unelectable candidate? The loss of the centrist vote with such a Christian coalition platform is more than offset by getting that piece out to the polls. And people assume that the stupidity is a liability. Au contr... contai... cont... screw it, whatever the opposite is, but the point is that we have a nation now that's just like The Dubya. The bulk are badly educated (in my case, a very expensive bad education), superstitious religious hillbillies, just maybe living in some bedroom community instead of the obvious countryside, and they don't trust anyone who's too intellimigent or too elomiquent.
I'll be fine without Karl, and we'll be fine as a party. It's the same old thing we always do, where the Dubya has a bad name now, so we'll just send in someone with the same tired old hash and a new name. And it'll work again like it always does, maybe not in 2008 but in 2010. We send in someone with some big rhetoric about family values and burning the heathens and whatever, and he ends up getting outed for some affair or gay phone sex or whatever, and it's just a blip on the radar. We just send in some new guy with the same rhetoric, all show and fearmongering and appealing to the irrational nobodies, and he gets outed too, and we just send in another. Maybe Karl did have a few elections where he could by getting a bunch of lower-middle class married couples with kids to act stupid and make bad decisions. That's not genius. I can do that myself. It would take a genius to get these people not to act stupid and make bad decisions. All they know is that they don't like George W. Bush, which is why I'm changing my name to Steve Doom. I can see the headlines now: "Approval Ratings in the Toilet for President Bush and His Occupation of Iraq, but Sky-High for President Doom and His Occupation of Iran." Damn right...