Crazy Uncle George's Blog
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Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Bringin' out the TARP
So we've been working with Team Obama behind the scenes to make this a nice, bipartisan page until inauguration. Some of my advisors had told me that I should find ways to delay things,
so I could leave my mess in his backyard. I really wish somebody had made it clear that they meant the economy, so I wouldn't have started my plan of waiting really long to take a dump. In the meantime, we went with another bailout, because otherwise, companies would have to pay their employees by... you know, earning money. This time, it was GM and Chrysler, although the majority interest in Chrysler is owned by the buyout firm Cerberus. I have no idea what the things I said just mean, but I think that Josh Bolten said he'd describe it to me with some hand puppets.
Anyway, we struck a deal to cut them some funding for 90 days, so that we don't have unemployment problems, problems meaning that a bunch of people lose jobs better done by machines and have to find work with better companies or less outdated roles. Because that would suck. We made them show us restructuring plans so we'd know that they're viable, so hopefully we can avoid that unemployment. The restructuring plans we wanted basically consist of closing a bunch of plants and laying off the workers. I think people are generally happy with the terms, except for the UAW, which is appealing to Obama to reverse the "unfair conditions" of moving wages closer to those of the Japanese automakers' U.S. plants.
And I mean, I get that. We've presented a big list of compromises to keep these non-functional companies afloat to pay UAW salaries and pensions, asking creditors like PIMCO to reduce the debt they're owed by two-thirds. So we've really "singled out" the workers with a reputation for producing poor-quality cars by lending based on having them paid not too much more than the workers with a reputation for making reliable cars. But I've wrecked the budget and the economy and get paid twice as much as Bill Clinton, so that makes sense. Their demands for big future unknowns of pension and health care costs made these already screwed-up companies completely unable to compete. Wrecking companies with bad decisions is management's job, so the UAW workers should get paid like management. But there's no money to do that. It's like we're in a recession or something.
Well, at least one thing made a gain recently, which is the web page. I've just added a gallery for actress Odette Yustman and added pictures to the galleries for Jane Krakowski and Milla Jovovich. I'm getting closer to evened-out letters, so I might be able to start releasing some of the girls I've been waiting on, but we'll see.