Charlize Theron [Crazy Uncle George's A to Z of Hotties]

Charlize Theron

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Occupation: Actress (film)
Fame Level: Huge name, star of seemingly every movie known to man
Clothing Level: Type of lack of clothing you'd expect from a former model

Filmography

	Aeon Flux, Character: Aeon Flux Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: It's the future. Everything sucks. It feels like I'm writing this over and over again about movies. Anyway, there's one place left where people haven't died of disease, and Frances McDormand is leading a rebellion against the scientist government... ya, she sure is... it's swell. Anyway, Charlize is working for her and learning all the secrets and whatnot of the new government... you know the deal.
	North Country, Character: Josey Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? No Comments: This is based on a true story of the first successful sexual harassment suit, with the names changed and shitloads of the details, too. Charlize plays a miner and the men don't like her muscling in on their domain, so they give her hell and she sues. Charlize was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for this.
	Sweet November, Character: Sara Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Maybe Comments: This would be a 10 of 10 on the chick flick scale, and yet... Keanu Reeves? Boy, not even Charlize could make me watch this. Keanu's the career-obsessed type. He makes Charlize miss her driver's license test, and before you know it, they're spending the month of November together... and it is sweet. Look, you're not getting the A material for free here.
	Monster, Character: Aileen Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Maybe, Looks Hot for Her? Big No, Clothing Level: Underwear Comments: Man, you know an actress has a hot body when she has to intentionally put on shitloads of weight to play a prostitute. Charlize's character is the lead, a bottom-level prostitute (as in she gets maybe $20) who is initially straight but falls for Christina Ricci. She has to kill a guy who rapes her as self-defense but is angry at the world and begins to kill Johns all over the place to steal their money.
	The Italian Job, Character: Stella Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: You know, if you told me Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton, Donald Sutherland, and Charlize would get together in a movie, I'd think it'd be some Oscar contender, not an action movie. But then again I thought my economic plan wouldn't create the first net loss in jobs in a presidential term since Hoover, that my occupation of Iraq would be over faster than Justin Guarini's career, that Jenna wouldn't... Well, anyway, Mark Wahlberg heads a group of criminals like Charlize. Edward Norton double-crosses them and they have to get back what they stole.
	The Cider House Rules, Character: Candy Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: If I ever suspect I'm in a movie, I'm sure as hell not leaving my wife for the military... or I suppose, the Coast Guard in my case. Charlize Theron's husband does that in this after having Tobey Maguire come to stay and help on his farm, and... well, you know what any sane guy would do in Tobey's place.
	The Astronaut's Wife, Character: Jillian Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? No, Clothing Level: Nudity, but probably hidden Comments: This is a really early role for her. Johnny Depp is her husband, who goes into space and returns a changed man. He impregnates her, and abnormal men make abnormal babies. Hmm, that doesn't speak too well about Dad...

Other Filmography Worth Mentioning

	Reindeer Games, Character: Ashley Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: Ben Affleck's cellmate used to work in a casino and gets involved with Charlize through one of those programs where women and convicts start dating after trading letters. He dies and Ben Affleck wants Charlize so since it's trading letters (i.e. they don't know what each other looks like) he pretends to be his cellmate when he gets out of jail. Gary Sinise is Charlize's brother, who was awaiting a casino insider to help him pull off a robbery, and Ben Affleck gets dragged into this. Okay, so who believes that women who look like Charlize are desperate enough to use a prison letter exchange?
	The Legend of Bagger Vance, Character: Adele Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Big No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes, Clothing Level: Slip (not too revealing by modern standards) Comments: Matt Damon is a star golfer and Charlize is his girlfriend, maybe fiancee? I can't remember. He leaves for war and it sort of ruins him and their relationship. So many years later, Charlize's rich father is dead and she's broke. She has to hold a golf tournament (she owns the best course in the world) to get the money, and Matt Damon has to compete despite having lost his swing.
	2 Days in the Valley, Character: Helga Seen It? Part (Not nearly enough), Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: You don't really think of Helga as the name of a hot girl, but you don't really think at all when you watch Charlize in this. This is her breakout role. There is quite a cast of characters in this, but none nearly as compelling as wicked cool assassin James Spader and his super sultry girlfriend and partner played by Charlize. If I got this much sex from this girl, I wouldn't mind being a cold-blooded killer, either. Anyway, look for a major catfight scene between Charlize and Teri Hatcher.
	The Devil's Advocate, Character: Mary Ann Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Big No, Looks Hot for Her? , Clothing Level: Fully clothed Comments: Unfortunately it's Connie Nielsen who gets naked, which is good, too, but after drooling over Charlize playing Keanu Reeves's wife the whole movie you wish it were her instead.
	Trial and Error, Character: Billie Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Big Yes Comments: I hate Michael Richards, so there's no way in hell I'm watching this. He plays an actor who pretends to be a lawyer for his friend, Jeff Daniels. Jeff Daniels is married, but falls for a waitress played by Charlize as the movie goes on.
	The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, Character: Laura Seen It? Yes, Recommend It? Yes, Looks Hot for Her? Yes, Clothing Level: Nudity is all implied Comments: This is a small part for her, but she's the best part of this movie. She plays a celebrity whose crazy personal life is the headline of all the tabloids. She finds herself strangely aroused by how completely repulsive Woody Allen (the main character, a private eye) is in every way and tries to seduce him. Unfortunately, Woody's the only one who sees skin, and later she's wrapped up in a blanket.
	Men of Honor, Character: Gwen Seen It? No, Looks Hot for Her? Yes Comments: Cuba Gooding, Jr. is trying to be the first black Navy diver despite major hazing and Robert De Niro is his trainer. Charlize is De Niro's wife. Anyone else see something wrong with that?

Other Comments: It's really hard categorizing her filmography as "major" or not, as the roles she's had that you'd consider major for another actress would go on for pages. Charlize was a model before, of course, which is pretty obvious from her height and lean physique. She's from South Africa, and she's supposedly a 36-24-36, although I would have thought she'd be better than the supposed perfect statistic.

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